Diary of a Broken Heart

Every night when everyone’s asleep, I grab my phone and read all our old messages and conversations...I feel the tears slowly rolling down my eyes and suddenly the tears won’t stop...I start remembering all the times you told me YOU love me and all the moments you took  my breath away.. Some day you make me think we can still be….. Other days I am so hopeless thinking I should just give up… Yes I can’t force you to love me but I can’t force myself to stop loving you...It’s hard for me to pretend that I don’t love you anymore or I don’t care for you..It’s true that I hate to see you happy with somebody else but I’ll surely hate myself more to see you unhappy with me…

I still don’t wish to walk away and forget about what we had.Whenever I see a flashback of our relationship in front of me… we loved to be together, when we used to be together we did things that we love… every time you were near me I felt I was in heaven…I felt high ever time you touched me…I didn't wanted to let you go, I wished I could have loved you more, I wish I could have hold you tight forever, I still wish to die in your arms…

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 Your love, your touch is just with me and it will be forever…I have no importance in your life but you still owe a very precious place in my life... you were the best that has happened in my life...and I thank god for the best gift which I received after my family…but I guess the prayers which I sent for you has taken a turn and has come back forever…you and me are no more together but the fragrance of our love will always be there with me…

You are not there with me anymore and this is the most painful thing for me…I still love with the broken pieces of my heart…I always thanked god for the things you did for me…the time you spent listening to my problems and the warm embraces that showed you care for me was the most best feeling for me… the gentle kisses that said “I LOVE YOU” the gestures that said I am a special person in your life…I poured out my love for you…every thought of yours with every single breath I take a voice within me says I need you…

I am not a perfect person, I am sorry that I hurt you; I never meant to do those things to you… you find reason to love me but I loved you, I love you without any reason…but now I am going to smile and make you think I am happy, I am going to laugh so that you don’t make out I cried for you, even if this feeling kill me I am going to smile. I said I love and these three words had life in them and it still has for me! My smile and my laugh hide more pain than you can imagine…

It wasn't a long time that I met you but in that short time you managed to change my life completely. I gave you the best position in my heart I wished to have a loving and a long journey with you because I adored you…I am breaking from inside day by day, I don’t want to fall and say I lost it all because there’s a part of me to hit the wall leaving pieces of me behind and no one knows the pain I feel every time I see you…feeling of love is the most beautiful feeling that can ever happen…there’s no reason why I love and that’s why there will be no reason for me to hate you…explaining why I love is impossible I don’t even know why and to be honest, I really don’t want to…you are not with me but everyday I think of you, everyday remind of what we had and I am afraid nothing could ever stop this feeling. I like to pretend that everything is alright because when everybody else think you are fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you are not…

I am sorry for being the biggest mistake of your life while you were the best thing to ever happen to me. I don’t know why I keep that hope still inside me…this feeling is weird and i really want to get over this!

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